I've never been much of a traveler…
Of course, I love to travel (who doesn't)? ✈️
But I don't travel enough to really be a “traveler.” I'm not the person you ask for travel tips, how to pack, or how to ask for a seat upgrade. I definitely don't know airport codes, and I've never had TSA pre-check.
However, this past month in July, I went on 3 trips (Illinois, Aspen, and SoCal) which is a LOT for me. The traveling back and forth is enough as it is, but sleeping in hotel rooms? NOT FOR ME. I'm definitely the kind of girl who prefers her specific Gallery Furniture mattress, blackout curtains, Alexa rain sounds at just the right volume, and TWO pillows (one silk, one non-silk). Extra… I know.
In this month of travel, I've had two new experiences that have never ever happened to me in my nearly 28 years on Earth.
The first one was a blessing in disguise, an absolute day-maker that goes by the name of FIRST CLASS. I flew my first-ever first-class trip to and from SoCal, and I am a changed woman 🥲
Me in first class when the others walked to the first-class bathroom 👇😂
(Jk but I grew up middle class and have always wondered what those first-classers are like so let me live this moment)!!!
I really wanted to believe all these years that first class wasn't that great (or necessary). I'll just go ahead and burst that bubble because it absolutely is that great. I basically had a mimosa in my hand before I even had a chance to buckle my seatbelt 🙌
Before you roll your eyes or get the ick at my level of boujee, I will admit I did not pay for the first-class upgrade (not the first one at least)!! My mother-in-law purchased my flight from Aspen to Santa Ana and upgraded me to first class… But I did upgrade my flight home because it's amazing. Duh.
Back to airport travel:
In my nearly 28 years, not only have I never rode first class until this trip but I've also never been subjected to a security check. Like ever. I've never had a pat down or a sus item. I'm always on my Ps & Qs with security/laws because I'm actually terrified to go to jail or be in any trouble. (I tell my man all the time, “If I were to go to prison, I would definitely be someone's b*tch because there is no way I'd survive." 😭)
Side note: Is anyone else a major Orange is the New Black fan? One of my favorite shows of all time 🙋♀️
So here I am, just minding my damn business at the LAX airport at 8 in the morning. I'm on zero sleep, a week of travel, and no caffeine yet at this point.
AKA: THE STRUGGLE BUS
I'm in the security line, following all the normal rules (shoes off, bags in bins, etc.)
I go through the fancy body detector (the one where you stand like an X), and as I come out of the metal detector it starts beeping rapidly. This is when my pulse quickens. People are looking at me like I've already committed a federal crime.
My first thought is I left my vape in a pocket. But then I realized I didn't even have pockets, so wtf?
I turn to look at the little screen that's flashing red, and see the little figure of a person with a large red box right over where the private area would be 😵💫
The lady looks at me with sus eyes… And let me be VERY CLEAR!!!
No, I do not have any piercings or metallic objects near my lady bits (although I'm not judging if you do).
I also wasn't smuggling any illegal objects in said lady bits.
This TSA agent proceeds to tell me I need a full pat down, including an uncomfortably close pat down of said lady bits 🥲
Mind you, I'm wearing SPANDEX BIKER SHORTS. SHORT SHORTS. TIGHT. NO ROOM. NO AIR. SKIN ON SKIN.
I thought I looked so cute with my beach tan and biker shorts and cool crewneck I got from the US Surf Open 🙃
But no. It wasn't cute. In fact, it was every bit of uncomfortable as it sounds.
I said,"Ma'am, is that really necessary? My shorts are barely shorts."
And that was the last day I ever wear spandex biker shorts to the airport…
You might be wondering, ok Taylor you were uncomfortable but like WHAT set off the detector?
Remember when I said I wasn't a “traveler?" I said that because what TRAVELER willingly puts on a g-string with METAL eyelets when they KNOW damn well they're about to go through airport security? Hi, it's me. I am the said g-string criminal, just asking for a pat down. 🙋♀️
Once this realization dawns on me, I say, “Oh no, ma'am. I don't need a pat down! It's all good down there. I just have some very fancy Victoria's Secret underwear on for no good reason.”
Her eyes were amused? Turned-on? Entertained? I then wondered how hilarious it would be for a terrorist to also say, “No worries, it's just my g-string.”
So why do I tell you this story?
I was really, really uncomfortable (as we all would be in this situation).
And I keep thinking about all of the uncomfortability coming into my life lately.
The discomfort is screaming at me, in more ways than one. (The g-string discomfort is the least of it right now)
And while I handled that discomfort well, I'm currently experiencing discomfort on a heightened level in my life.
Discomfort in the fact that for the first time in 5 years… I'm not exactly sure wtf I want to do with my life 😳
It's like I've been riding this MAJOR vision ever since my son was born in 2019, and I haven't ever looked back. I pushed through every obstacle, every uncertainty, every shitty failure, to get me here in my business.
The successful business? The authority? The money? The house? The relationships? The health? The body? The confidence? The experience? The community?
I was dreaming of ALL of it 5 years ago. I was willing to push myself to every height possible to get it all.
And TBH, now that I'm here and accomplished what I set out to do, I'm feeling the same humorous discomfort (much like that metal g-string pat down) of… I did it, but now what?
What's next? What do I want now? What does all of THIS mean for future me? Where is she going?
Not having the answer to ☝️ those questions is killing me right now. You guys know I am obsessed with my future vision, and the power to execute my vision has always been a strong suit.
But for once in my adult life, I get to sit here in this discomfort and CHOOSE my path. I don't have to choose this path out of necessity or need. I get to choose this path out of desire and want.
The question isn't, “What do I HAVE to do?”
The question is, “What do I WANT to do?”
Sis, I can't tell you why that question feels so BIG and ambiguous right now. And I can't even tell you what I'm yearning for, or what I want my future to look like, or where I want to go…
But I can tell you that all this discomfort is fuel.
It's the fuel we need to power through and discover the answer to “What's next”?
This discomfort is really uncomfortable, but it also reminds me there's a challenge coming. And on the other side is a more powerful, beautiful me; an even more incredible life than I could imagine.
Will it take grit to push through this? Will it take DISCOMFORT to not become complacent? Will it be challenging to get to my true why?
Absolutely.
But what's the alternative – doing nothing? Being comfortable? Settling? 🥴
And settling, my friends, is more scary to me than the discomfort will ever be.
Because I was made for something huge. And so were you.
If you're sitting in discomfort right now for your future, your vision, your career, or your why, I want to remind you it's ok to not know.
And it's also ok to pivot, change careers, start a new hobby, get a new group of friends, move, go back to a 9-5 after having a business, go back to school, scale back, scale up, or even doing nothing at all until you have clarity.
I challenge you to feel the discomfort. Relish in it. And get honest with exactly what it is you're searching for.
I believe in you, sis.
Show yourself some love today, babe.
YOU'VE EARNED IT.
As always,
Taylor